New Year, New Me? series: Wisdom

With age comes wisdom. Supposedly.

I would not necessarily say that I have gained wisdom this last year, but I would definitely say that I have matured quite a bit. Going from an engaged woman to a single mother over night was a lot of insanity, but it taught me something: things can change unexpectedly without any of your say in it.  I'm not saying that the break up was completely his fault or that I did not want it to happen, but at the time, I did not expect that decision to come from the both of us. I won't get in to too many details, not exactly into oversharing online, but I will share with you some of the most important things I learned in this last year:

IDGAF.

Wait. What? Yes, you read that right. If you don't know the acronym, it means: I don't give a f*ck. Let me explain. When I say this, it does not mean that I suddenly don't care about my life or well-being. I actually care more about my own well-being than I ever have in my entire life. This is where this attitude comes in:

IDGAF if my house, car, or room is a little messy.

IDGAF if I'm not able to get everything done that I wanted to that day.

IDGAF if someone wants to yell at me on the phone (at work).

...

I'm sure I could go on and on. I have worried about every detail for way too long, and I need to stop. Stressing out over stupid things is not worth my time. I'd much rather spend my time giving a f*ck about other matters that deserve my attention more.

IGAF.

Once again, those that do not know what this acronym stands for, it means: I give a f*ck:

IGAF about my mental, physical, and emotional health.

IGAF about my relationships with friends and family members.

IGAF about my son's overall well-being.

...

Once again I could go on about the things or people that I do care about. This is the energy that is well spent. Energy used to maintain and grow relationships is way more important to me than wasted energy on things that aren't worth my time.

We only have so long on this earth, why waste it on things that aren't important to us?

Love,

Kjerstin L.

New Year, New Me? series: Forgiveness

Forgiveness. It is a beautiful thing.

If you don't already know, it can be a wonderful thing when given to the right person. At times, although it may be difficult, you can forgive someone. I know that this can be an issue for some people, but trust me. Forgiveness is not for the other person, it is for you. Do you know how exhausting it is to carry around that dislike/hate for a person? It is a lot of work. Do not let another person control you like that. Forgive, but you do not have to forget. Just do not put energy into the hate anymore. Let me alert you to a wonderful story that explains:

A young lady confidently walked around the room with a raised glass of water while leading and explaining stress management to an audience. Everyone just knew she was going to ask the oft repeated question, ‘half empty or half full?’ But she fooled them all…

“How heavy is this glass of water?” she inquired with a smile.

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance. In each case it’s the same weight,but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” She continued, “and that’s the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won’t be able to carry on.”

“As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we’re refreshed, we can carry on with the burden – holding stress longer and better each time practiced. So, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night… pick them up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you’re carrying now, let them down for a moment. Relax, pick them up later after you’ve rested. Life is short.”

- http://www.thecrosshairstrader.com/2011/05/a-glass-of-water/


Love,
Kjerstin L.

New Year, New Me?

No thanks. I do not believe in New Years Resolutions or this whole "New Year, New Me" crap.

I believe that people change periodically, and if you really want to change something about yourself then do it. Do not make a damn list on the first of all the things you are going to "change." If you want to set goals for yourself, go for it, but do not make some list that you are just going to throw away the moment someone is not looking. Instead, slowly make changes for the good. If you want to eat healthier, quit smoking cigarettes, or quit drinking caffeine/alcohol, start by cutting back and transition from there. I am telling you that the chances of you feeling ill will increase significantly if you quit cold turkey or altogether on a whim.  This will most likely increase your chances of starting up again.

If you want a New Years Resolution because well, you have always done it. How about this be your resolution instead:

Or you can always resolve to:

Just, love one another

Love,
Kjerstin L.

I am Afraid

Honestly, I have been using the words "afraid" and "fear" way too much lately.  I know that if I truly love someone and they truly love me, there is no such thing as fear, because we will create a security around us.  We will not fear for love will overcome.

Love,

Kjerstin L.

Someone's Something

Do you ever feel like you are under appreciated...that nobody could care less about what you are thinking or feeling?  Not saying that this is a consistent thing that is going on, but there is a certain person in my life who is making me feel this way.  They most likely won't read this because well they do not pay attention to anything I post, so I figured that this would be a good way to vent about it.

I feel as if I am the only one who actually cares about anything.  I feel as if you could care less about what happens in the future and where we are headed.  You are not putting in any effort to see me or talk to me, so why should I put in any?  I continually try to put an effort in... Yet you have not done one thing to make me feel like any of my work is worth it.  Why should I care if you do not? Why should I put in a bunch of work when you are not?  Why should I feel any guilt over anything when it has been you this entire time not trying?

I want to be someone's something.  I want to feel loved and appreciated.  I want to feel as if I am worth it, because I am.  I want this feeling to resonate in my actions as well as the actions of others around me.  I will not waste my time on someone who does not care for me or want me to be happy.

This image definitely resonates with my feelings:

"Love is always full time,
Never part time,
Never sometimes,
And certainly not just on your time."

Love,
Kjerstin L.